Jeremy stands in the surf and stares down at the water. There was a time when he hated salt water, but he’s gotten so used to it over the past couple of years that it doesn’t even bother him anymore. Besides, he thinks to himself, it’s great for surfing. His head lifts and he scans the horizon. It’s a beautiful day and he can see a few sailboats out there on the ocean. The thought of other people enjoying the day almost makes him smile, but he doesn’t quite make it. Today is his thirtieth birthday and he’s spending it alone. Early in the morning, he had gotten up and left a note for Chantal before driving up the coast. He didn’t want a lavish celebration for his birthday. He didn’t want to celebrate it at all. He doesn’t feel mature enough to be thirty years old.

His cell phone rings and Jeremy pulls it out of his pocket and stares at the caller ID. Chantal. For a second, he considers not answering, but then he remembers his responsibilities as the father of the child she’s carrying and he hits the correct button and brings the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Jer, where are you?”

But it’s not Chantal’s voice, it’s Steve’s on the other end. And that makes Jeremy close his eyes for a second.

“I’m okay, Steve.”

“Jer—“

“I’m okay. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? But it’s your birthday.”

“I know. I don’t want to celebrate it.”

“Jer—“

“Tomorrow, Steve.”

Jeremy hangs up and puts the phone back in his pocket. He walks out of the surf and back up onto the beach where he left his shoes and sits down beside them. As always, his mind drifts to Raine. He wonders what Raine is doing right now in this moment and whether he’s happy. Jeremy hopes that Raine is happy. Obviously, being with Jeremy made him miserable, so being away from the source of misery has to make him happy. The thought brings tears to Jeremy’s eyes and he brushes them away.

After staring out at the boats for awhile longer, he puts his shoes back on and stands up. He walks back to his car and gets inside it and starts it. Pulling back out onto the road, he considers just driving on forever, but responsibilities call him to what passes for home these days. So he settles on a hotel room for the night.