Due South Told Me So
-
Everything I know about Canada
I learned from a show called Due South
It didn't even take place in Canada
But there was this guy--
A Mountie--
I think his name was Fraser
Yeah
Wore a funny hat and this funky red suit
I think they called him a Mountie
Yeah
One of them dues on horses
I guess
Or else some kind of porn you can only get up there
Hey--maybe it's like that Canadian Ballet I've heard about but never seen
Right
This dude Fraser
He had two friends named Ray
Both in the same precinct in Chicago
Coincidence?
I think not
Perhaps some kind of alien conspiracy...
Oh, wait
That's the X-Files
Filmed in Vancouver
Yeah
That's in Canada
I'm pretty sure anyway
Anyway back to those two Rays
What's the deal?
Maybe Fraser was just calling the second one Ray for kicks
Maybe Ray is some odd Canadian swear word
Or perhaps a term of endearment
All things considered
Yeah
And why did he wear his uniform in Chicago?
Didn't he own any other clothes?
Maybe Canadians have a dresscode
Like some freaky Catholic school turned porno
Oh, wait
That's all Catholic schools
Never mind
Fraser was a rather serious dude too
But he had a kick-ass dog
Some kind of wolf
Yeah
That's some cool shit
Makes me think, man, if Canada's full of kick-ass dog-owning porn stars, why'd Fraser ever leave?
Guess I'll have to tune in next week to those chopped up reruns on TNT
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